Hannah Milton is a GP, mum, and a runner.
I recently read an article with the statistic “1 in 3 victims of domestic abuse are men”. It sets off my skeptic radar every time I see it or the related “1 in 7 men and 1 in 4 women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime”.1 These statistics just don’t resonate with my real-life experience in the consulting room. Maybe all the men are not presenting to healthcare, or they are seeing my male colleagues? After some research, it turns out that it is a bit more complicated than that. Here are some counter-statistics, though they are less succinct:
1 woman was killed, on average, every 4 days between 2009-2018 by a partner or ex-partner. 1,425 women in total.2
1 man was killed every 38 days between April 2008 – March 2018 by a partner or ex-partner. 108 men in total. It is estimated that in 77% of the cases of men killed by a partner or ex-partner there is evidence of violence and abuse from the man prior to their killing.3
The widely quoted “1 in 3” statistic is often not referenced at all, as if it is established fact. When it is referenced, it is from the annual Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW).
The widely quoted “1 in 3” statistic is often not referenced at all, as if it is established fact. When it is referenced, it is from the annual Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW). The CSEW is an incredibly important survey as it not only looks at crimes recorded by the police, but also unreported crimes via a face-to-face questionnaire. 75,000 randomly selected households are invited to participate and around 28,000 people per year take part. Great efforts have been made to remove barriers to disclosure, for example the questions about uncomfortable topics such as domestic abuse and sexual abuse are completed by the interviewee on a computer with full anonymity. It is a extremely useful and meticulously thought-out survey.
However, the survey is long: the questionnaire document is 408 pages, with 3-4 questions per page. I couldn’t ascertain how long it takes but I assume it must take hours.4 It is easy to see how someone in an abusive or violent relationship might decline a stranger coming into their house for a prolonged period to ask sensitive questions.
Within the question “…has a partner or ex-partner ever used force on you?”, the following are listed as examples: “pushed you, slapped you, hit, punched or kicked you, choked you or used a weapon against you.” I think it is important to acknowledge that ‘pushing’ a partner is an act of abuse, but there is a wide variation in the level of violence within the question. For instance, a woman who sustained an attack requiring hospital assessment would count the same as a man pushed in a moment of frustration or self-defence. There are also concerns, that people in an abusive relationship could be afraid of declaring abuse despite the safeguards of the process. People in abusive relationships can lose trust in all relationships.
There are, quite rightly, questions that ask about control and coercion in relationships, but coercion can be so insidious that it can be hard for the victim to know that what is happening is abusive until they have successfully separated. This is why, despite the importance and sensitivity of the CSEW I don’t think that the individual statistics about domestic abuse can be relied upon in isolation.
It is right that there are specialist services for men, but I don’t think it is correct to use statistics to imply a ‘balance’ that simply isn’t true. The vast majority of domestic abuse affects women.
Jess Hill, in her thorough book, “See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Abuse”5,6 helped me understand a brief history of this misleading presentation of balance between the sexes in domestic abuse reporting dating back to the 1970s. She explains the difference of opinion between “family conflict” researchers and “violence against women” researchers. Both groups have statistics to back up their claims, but they are often measuring different behaviours and their questions are framed in very different ways. Jess Hill also highlights that when women kill their partner, it is often because they don’t see another way out and have often felt let down by the Police and The Judiciary. This is backed up by the Centre for Women’s Justice report referenced earlier.
It is important to keep in mind that men experiencing domestic abuse have specific needs and in a patriarchal society, stigma is a large barrier for men to seek help. Women are capable of violence and aggression even when they are not being abused, so male survivors of domestic abuse must be listened to and believed. It is right that there are specialist services for men, but I don’t think it is correct to use statistics to imply a ‘balance’ that simply isn’t true. The vast majority of domestic abuse affects women.
References
- https://bjgplife.com/domestic-abuse-in-the-times-of-covid-and-the-cost-of-living-crisis/ (accessed 15/1/24)
- Femicide census 10 year report 2009-2018 accessed at: www.femicidecensus.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Femicide-Census-10-year-report.pdf (accessed 15/1/24)
- “Women who kill: how the state criminalises women we might otherwise be burying.” February 2021 report from Centre for Women’s justice. https://www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/women-who-kill (accessed 15/1/24)
- The full questionnaire can be found on this web page. Section 18 is the “Domestic abuse, sexual victimisation and stalking module. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/methodologies/crimeandjusticemethodology#questionnaires (accessed 15/1/24)
- Jess Hill: See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Abuse, Chapter 7 ‘When women use violence’. Hurst Publishers 2020 (originally published in Australia 2019). ISBN 9781787388260
- https://bjgplife.com/see-what-you-made-me-do-power-control-and-domestic-abuse/ accessed 17/1/2024
Featured photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash
