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How to say goodbye at the end of life

Terry Kemple is a retired GP living in Bristol and has various roles promoting greater sustainability in general practice. He is a past President of the Royal College of General Practitioners. He is on Twitter: @TKemple

 

There is no right way to say goodbye at the end of a life. Most GPs are used to dealing with the medical business of a death. From the tragedy of the unexpected death in a young person to the long-awaited death in old age. We have witnessed, remember and learnt from the best and worst of deaths. Less of us have experienced the death of a loved one. Few of us are prepared for our own deaths.

There are tips such as the five things you may want to say or have said before death: ‘I forgive you’, ‘Please forgive me’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I love you’, and ‘Goodbye’.

This short book of handwritten text and drawings from life is useful for anyone involved with the process of dying and death. It takes less than 15 minutes to read the text and illustrations but you will probably want to read it more than once, and share it with others.
It is more like an illustrated poem than a conventional book, but it gives guidance about the thoughts, feelings and actions that may help when a loved one is dying.

There are tips such as the five things you may want to say or have said before death: ‘I forgive you’, ‘Please forgive me’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I love you’, and ‘Goodbye’.

It’s a guide to improve the lived experience of dying and death.

For GPs it is a book for your personal or practice library to lend to patients who are on their journey to meet death, and to their family and friends who want to learn how to say goodbye better and be able to live afterwards without unnecessary remorse.

Featured book: Wendy MacNaughton, How to say goodbye: The Wisdom of Hospice Caregivers,Bloomsbury Publishing (18 July 2023), Hardcover,‎ 128 pages,  ISBN-13: ‎ 978-1639730858, £16.54

Featured Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

The BJGP is the world-leading primary care journal. At BJGP Life we add multi-media comment and opinion for the primary care community.

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