The Power of Self-Compassion

Maiedha Raza is a GP, GP Appraiser and Clinical Lecturer in Birmingham with an interest in Compassion

Through all the different roles I’ve worked in over the last decade I have noted a trend; as healthcare workers we have the propensity to be hard on ourselves in times of struggle or perceived failure. As a GP I have witnessed this tendency both professionally and personally. Practicing self-compassion can be a powerful antidote to this. It isn’t just about ‘being kind,’ it’s about having a constructive tool to lean on when you are struggling.

The culture of medicine can sometimes prioritise perfectionism and self-sacrifice leaving little room for emotional vulnerability or self-kindness. When things go wrong or even when the outcomes are out of our control, health professionals are particularly prone to self-criticism and burnout. By practicing the art of self-compassion, the evidence shows we can promote a more sustainable approach to caregiving. It also enables us to extend greater compassion to our patients by first acknowledging our own humanity.^1,2

Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as having three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, a sense of mindfulness. This practice invites a gentler and more supportive internal dialogue rather than harshly judging ourselves in times of struggle or perceived failure.³ It’s easy to become self-critical, especially when working with a system under constant pressure & when we are faced with global world atrocities. When we show compassion to ourselves first it makes it easier to show this outwardly to patients and colleagues.^3,4

Practicing self-compassion doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility or indulging in excuses. It focuses on recognising flaws but still seeing ourselves as worthy, valuable and capable. Research shows that practicing self-compassion is linked to greater motivation, healthier relationships and lower levels of anxiety and depression.¹

Self-kindness involves responding to ourselves with warmth and patience rather than criticism. Common humanity reminds us that suffering and personal adequacy is part of the shared human experience. Mindfulness helps us observe our thoughts and emotions with balance without trying to surprise will be coming overwhelmed. Together these three elements form a foundation for self-compassion.¹

I have found that building self-compassion starts with becoming more aware of our inner dialogue, especially during moments of stress or setbacks. Noticing how we speak to ourselves and whether the tone is harsh, critical or impatient is a powerful first step. A good question to ask ourselves is, ‘would I say this to a friend or loved one?’ If the answer is no, it’s probably worth rephrasing your thoughts in a kind and more supportive way. Practising this regularly can help shift the internal voice from a judgemental to a compassionate one overtime.^5,6

Trying to make space in your daily work routine for one meaningful act of self-care that supports our emotional well-being can also help promote compassion. This can be something as simple as taking a micro break at the end of the clinic. Just having five minutes of quiet, undisturbed time. This sends a message to yourself that ‘I matter,’ especially you’re treating yourself with the same respect that you would give to patients or colleagues.¹

A personal technique I have found extremely useful and have taught many others includes keeping a ‘Golden Folder.’ This has been an excellent way to powerfully nurture a sense of self-compassion. Noting down a small personal win, or a moment you handled well, and anonymously saving it a folder somewhere on your computer works as a gentle reminder of your strengths and progress. It intentionally focuses on the meaningful moments that often go unnoticed in the rush of life. I have found opening the folder often, reinforces the feeling of encouragement and growth.

Though it might seem soft or understated there is a quiet power in practicing self-compassion. As Maya Angelou once said, ‘Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.’ ⁽⁷⁾ Self-compassion gives us to the tools to honour lifelong learning in medicine and allows growth without the heavy weight of self-criticism.

References

1. Neff, K.D. (2011) Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. New York: William Morrow.
2. Neff, K.D. and Germer, C.K. (2017) Self-compassion and psychological well-being. In: C. Germer and R.D. Siegel (eds.) Compassion and wisdom in psychotherapy. New York: Guilford Press, pp. 93–110.
3. Neff, K.D. (2003) Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), pp.85–101.
4. Raab, K. (2014) Mindfulness, self-compassion, and empathy among health care professionals: A review of the literature. Journal of Health Care Chaplaincy, 20(3), pp.95–108.
5. Bluth, K. and Neff, K.D. (2018) New frontiers in research on self-compassion. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 13(2), pp.159–162
6. Barnard, L.K. and Curry, J.F. (2011) Self-compassion: Conceptualizations, correlates, & interventions. Review of General Psychology, 15(4), pp.289–303.
7. Maya Angelou (n.d.) Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Goodreads. Available at: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7273813-do-the-best-you-can-until-you-know-better-then [Accessed 8 June 2025].

Featured photo by Eilis Garvey on Unsplash