David Jeffrey is a former GP and palliative care doctor.
Choosing to end one’s life by voluntarily stopping eating and drinking (VSED) is uncommon. Marianne Brooker has written a candid personal reflection on her experience of caring for her mum, who was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis in 2009, as she approached 40 years of age. A decade later her mum decided that she wished to die in her own home and chose to stop eating and drinking.
This exploration of what makes a good death is unusual in that it honestly interrogates the conflicting emotions a person’s choice of VSED generates in relatives, friends, carers, doctors, nurses, and palliative care teams. Brooker’s humanity, her love for her mum and her mum’s resilience, pervade this beautifully written book. It is a daughter’s moving reflection on what it is to give and receive care.
“It is a daughter’s moving reflection on what it is to give and receive care.”
It provides valuable insights into how the support of a multidisciplinary palliative care team in the home is experienced from a daughter’s viewpoint. Brooker describes the process involved in a choice for VSED and makes a plea for ethical and legal guidelines for professionals and the public.
The author shows how Cicely Saunders’ concept of total pain, including social and psychological factors such as loneliness and poverty, affect care at the end of life. She reflects on the patchy provision of palliative care and the economics of hospice provision. The book is thoroughly researched with excellent notes and references.
Although for a variety of reasons I disagree with the author’s views on assisted dying, I found this an inspiring account of what it means to care and to be cared for by a loving relative. Brooker’s brilliant book blends care ethics, philosophy, grief, and practical wisdom, offering GPs and primary care teams a different perspective on end-of-life care. Her mum would be proud of her.
Featured book: Marianne Brooker, Intervals, Fitzcarraldo Editions, 2024, PB, 200pp, £10.99, 978-1804270837
Featured photo by Susan Q Yin on Unsplash.
