Ben Hoban is a GP in Exeter.
The following has been submitted on behalf of a third party.
I’m getting too old for this. Every year it’s the same: I tell them I’m retiring, and everyone’s upbeat and all end-of-an-era and don’t-you-worry-we’ll-be-fine; then a week before Christmas, the emails start coming in, and they’re not fine, and it’s all a mess, and would I mind awfully popping in just one last time? Things have changed so much since I started that it hardly even feels like the same job anymore. My list size has gone through the roof, and although the team is great, I’ve had to take on so many helpers that I can barely keep track of everyone, let alone mentor them. People’s expectations are different too, and not usually in a good way. Putting in an appearance used to be enough, but now everyone knows exactly what they want, and they’re not happy if they don’t get it. And then there’s the blessed technology! Thankfully, there’s someone who deals with all the letters now, although part of me misses that side of things and longs for the days when it didn’t all feel so hectic and it was easier to take time and give people a bit more of the personal touch. Sometimes I just feel like a small cog in a big machine.
“From what I hear about doctors, you lot just end up doing a week’s work in 3 days; in my case it’s a year’s work in one night!”
The longer you do the job, the more you see how badly things could go wrong, too. Take visiting people at midnight, for example: so far no-one’s threatened legal action, but I can tell you that the idea of an older man slipping into people’s homes at will and technically uninvited is going to start causing concerns at some point, even if it is just once a year and the season of goodwill. I don’t know how many courses I’ve had to attend over the years about safeguarding, consent, mental capacity, and even the Theft Act of 1968. Did you know that in English law, burglary is defined as entering a building with the intent to commit a criminal offence, whereas simply entering without permission is considered trespass? If you want to know what’s really criminal, though, try writing a risk assessment for landing a sleigh on every residential rooftop on the planet in a single night! Actually, I cheated on that one, but what’s the point of having ChatGPT if you can’t use it to grease the wheels (or runners) occasionally? Technically, of course, the whole thing’s impossible anyway, so most people just shrug their shoulders and get on with carving the turkey instead of asking awkward questions. Everyone talks about the ‘laws of physics’, but when you’ve been around as long as I have, they’re really more like guidelines. Let’s just say that Einstein and I have had words.
It all comes at a cost, though, and I think that’s why I’ve finally decided to call it a day. You’d think that working part-time would make things easier, but it’s a mixed blessing. From what I hear about doctors, you lot just end up doing a week’s work in 3 days; in my case it’s a year’s work in one night! The other 364 days aren’t spent pottering around in my dressing gown either: there’s tidying up from this Christmas, prepping for the next one, smoothing over any procedural breaches with the authorities, sorting out everyone’s Continuing Professional Development and staff appraisals; and seriously, the next person to make a joke about ‘elf and safety’ is going to get a mince pie in the features. I love looking after people, but more and more of the time it feels as if I have to choose between doing the job and looking after myself.
Perhaps I’m not really selling it, but something tells me that if you’re reading this, you know what I’m talking about, and maybe one of you is ready for a change too; they say it’s as good as a cure. You see, I’m looking for someone with a similar set of values to pass the operation on to, someone who’s good with people and isn’t fazed by big dogs or messy living rooms, who can think on their feet and get things done without getting tied up in red tape; someone, in the end, who can bring a little light into the darkness and help everyone manage from one year to the next. Then again, maybe it’s less of a change than you’d think. In any case, let me know if you’re interested by writing to the usual address, and don’t worry about a CV or references: I have my list, after all.
Featured photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash.
Wonderful!