Tasneem Khan is a GP in Bradford with a particular interest in clinician wellbeing and burnout.It started before medical school.
‘I am an empathic individual; this will help me to become a great doctor.’
Then came communication skills training. How do you ‘show’ empathy? Listening, nodding, mirroring.
Then GP training – the holistic practitioner, the one minute of uninterrupted listening, verbalising the compassion. ‘I am sorry to hear that’. ‘I understand what you are feeling’. ‘That sounds really difficult’.
Over 20 years since I learnt the meaning of ‘empathy’, I now embody the term.
I now feel all the emotions:
-the pain of the chronic injury
-the concern of the new lump
-the anger of the missed diagnosis
-the apprehension of the long-awaited pregnancy
-the exhaustion of the new mother
-the cry of the septic infant
-the sorrow of a relapse
-the betrayal of the STI
-the confusion of treatment resistance
-the bewilderment of his dementia
-the hopelessness of the fugue
-the paranoia of the delusions
-the intensity of the mania
-the fear of the safeguarding referral
-the desperation of the father’s plea
-the denial of the terminal diagnosis
-the terror of the dying man
-the loneliness of the bereavement
-the vulnerability of speaking out
-the relief of finally getting a doctors’ appointment
-the disappointment of only having 10 minutes to say it all
I feel it all. Continuously. 30 times a day. Several days a week.
Until I don’t.
Between Schwartz rounds and Balint groups I try to make sense of the loss. The loss of empathy and purpose.
Because it is my compassion, more than my knowledge, that connects the human to the science. It is what makes an absolute stranger disclose their deepest worries in exchange for trust and clarity.
Compassion fatigue strips away that identity. The clinician, the person, the human. An empty vessel, a mechanical transaction, a simple exchange of information.
Empathy makes me a great doctor. Until it doesn’t.
Deputy Editor’s note – by the same author:
- https://bjgplife.com/i-have-a-stammer/
- https://bjgplife.com/ondecision-fatigue/
- https://bjgplife.com/pebbles/
Featured Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
